Top 10 Questions to Understand How You Were Made To Feel That Your Parents' Problems Were About You
By Michael Cerreto
It can be tricky and touchy to delve into how parents made their kids feel responsible for their parents' issues. Here are ten questions that can help shed light on this issue for yourself:
Did your folks ever blame you for their issues? Did they make you feel it was your job to sort out their feelings or the stuff they were dealing with?
Did they use guilt or manipulation to make you feel responsible for their happiness? Did they make you think it was your duty to make them feel better or solve their problems?
Did they project their issues onto you? Did they attribute their problems to your behavior or actions?
Did they invalidate your feelings and experiences? Did they dismiss or minimize your emotions, making you feel like your concerns were insignificant compared to theirs?
Did they rely on you for emotional support? Were you expected to support your parents emotionally, even at a young age?
Did they neglect your needs and prioritize their own? Did they consistently put their own needs ahead of yours, making you feel unimportant or neglected?
Did they use you as a confidant or therapist? Did they share inappropriate or burdensome information, treating you as their emotional outlet?
Did they use you as a mediator in their conflicts? Were you in the middle of their arguments or asked to take sides?
Did they make you responsible for their success or failure? Did they make you feel like their achievements or failures were directly linked to your behavior or performance?
Did they dismiss your boundaries and personal autonomy? Did they disregard your boundaries and decide for you without considering your thoughts or feelings?
These questions help you better understand yourself and your parents. Everyone's experience is different, and getting professional help, like talking to a therapist, can help you cope with these parent issues.
